The Rants of a Monster Calvinist

[KnownByHim]

The more I visit chat rooms and attempt to engage in serious theological discussions, the more frustrated and grieved I become; how often one finds himself stumbling into a room full of "minds the god of this age has blinded." (2 Cor.4:4) Indeed, I do not feel this to be a proud or arrogant declaration, but a geniune and often times horrifying experience. Far from any sense of pride, I am indeed a worm and no man, as my very ears and eyes percieve because of Him alone. (Prov. 20:12) Yet, why do I find myself getting angry and short-tempered with so many? I often feel it is because of one basic thing: God is surly not honored...and yet, I know He shall have preeminance in all things. (Col. 1:18) Modern day "evangelism" knows nothing of this principle, and hears not this very Scripture.
So, what is my number one rant? Actually, I have two. Firstly: The continuous dishonouring of God's Word.
And secondly:The tiring and mindless predictabilty of most theological discussions concerning the nature of the relationship between God and man. I am less and less inclined to log on to Paltalk. Every day I am reminded that "The Lord knows the thoughts of man, that they are futile." (Ps.94:11)
Allow me to rant just for a little while.

Christ is not proclaimed on Paltalk; man is proclaimed. Man worships man, and not his Creator. There is but one unifying creed for most "Christians" today: the exaltation of man. Of course, they would never admit to this, no, never in a thousand lifetimes. They can't admit to it, of course. However, that in no way justifes thier desire to oppose this simple truth. They are indeed accountable. You will not find the true Gospel in most rooms, because mankind doe not comprehend the light. (Jn.1)

Honestly, I do not wish to give the impression that I am some know-it-all self-righteous theologian stepping on as many heads as possible to get to the top of my ivory tower. I am sincerely upset at what seems to be a growing lack of true Christian fellowship to be had on Paltalk.
If ever there is some Creed or Confession that applied to the 95% of the "Christian" section of Paltalk, chapter one would read as follows:

I. Man is fallen from grace- but he fell only a little bit; he did not plummet into the very blackest depths of utter corruption or into a fleshly grave of spiritial death...no, he is just a bit misguided, a bit misunderstood. He means well, but, alas, he is sick. Just a bit. When God the Holy Spirit used such adjectives in describing man, such as being dead (Eph. 2 & Col.2), surely He was just a bit carried away in some poetic outburst. You see, dead really means alive; in fact, the plain and glaringly obvious meaning of most scriptures is always the very opposite of what is worded. For example, when Jesus in Jn 6 says NO man CAN come to Him, what He really meant is that alot of men just don't feel like it, and will come to Him when and if they alone are pleased to do so. (Did I mention Jn 6...? Yes, I did, because as a Calvinist it is all I know...it cannot compare to the vast knowledge of the Arminian who's mantra of Jn 3:16 solves all biblical difficulites.) Long ago, in Eden, satan lied and said, "You will surly not die", and so today we must continue to agree with him and proclaim how alive we all are. When apostolic authority claims man is dead, it really means he is alive. Likewise, when the Scripture says every intent of his heart is only evil continually (Gen 6:6:5), that means that most of his intentions are actually very noble but misdirected. When Solomon reminds us that within the hearts of men are madness (Ecc.9:3), what he meant to say was that man is very rational, morally sound and very capable indeed of making free will decisions concering things that are only just eternal. Man is not totally depraved: a being that is dead, blind, deaf, mad, without strength, blinded, in bondage, etc. etc. is surly capable of making good decisions. After all, it is the sovereign will of man that rules the universe. When John wrote that then whole world lies in the power of the evil one, (1 Jn 5:19) he was only kidding! It really lies in the power of almighty man. Satan is just a bit of a pest, is all. In fact, Satan does not even bother to participate in the ruin of man because he is ineffectual compared to mighty man. When Paul said that satan blinds men's minds (2 Cor.4:4), he was simply saying that he was actually providing them contact lenses. When he "works in the sons of disobediace" (Eph. 2), that just means he is only fooling with them; after all, they are much too strong for him to accomplish anything destructive anyways. This makes sense, because man does not walk "according to the prince of the power of the air" (Eph.2) but he walks according to the glorious freedom and omnipotence of his sacred free will.And how omnipotent it is! Man made himself alive...if Paul said that it was Christ Himself that made us alive (Eph.2 Col.1), then sound exegesis (what's that?) clearly shows that it was really man that did so. Ironically, because in me (my flesh) nothing good dwells (Rom 7:18) I am able to do all manner of good things! I granted myself repentance! (don't bother reading 2 Tim. 2:25-26...it means the opposite of what it says). When Jesus said that that flesh profits nothing (Jn 6:63), this only means that we are able to do at least a few profitable things. It is no secret that fleshly repentance (oxymoron), fleshly belief ("Many will come to Me saying , Lord, Lord...." and I will say, "Depart from Me...") and fleshly fear of the Lord is the most profitiable things of all!
To sum up: A bad tree can and DOES bear good fruit, man can please God in the flesh, every human being is a sheep of Christ (His sheep are said to HEAR His voice and actually follow Him, so....er...next scripture, please), we are very resourceful and able (Again, Paul was making a funny when he wrote 2 Cor. 3:5), slaves by their very nature and definition are very free to do as they please, man at any given moment is encouraged to reveal the Father to himself (Jesus alone does this Mtt.11:27, Lk 10:22,....but that is just a Calvinist prooftext....you see, John Calvin actually wrote those scriptures.), and finally, Gods word returns to Him void all the time because it never accomplishes what HE pleases but only whan man pleases (Isa. 55:11 is again another prooftext, because Isaiah was quoting qouting from the Institutes)....

Time for me to shut up. I feel better, however.

Perhpas next time we can look at chapter too of the Paltalk Confession. This will demonstrate the utter absuridy of hermeneutics....you know, another one of the BIG words us monster calvinists love to use in our torture chambers.

Peace
Craig

[Brandan Kraft]

Well as a fellow monster calvinist, I agree with you about the state of affairs on PalTalk. There are very few brethren that chat there in my opinion, and I have found it less and less edifying to chat there. But paltalk is simply a reflection of the world at large, and so I am not really all that surprised.

That was a great rant!

- Brandan

[ray kikkert]

The more I visit chat rooms and attempt to engage in serious theological discussions, the more frustrated and grieved I become; how often one finds himself stumbling into a room full of "minds the god of this age has blinded." (2 Cor.4:4) Indeed, I do not feel this to be a proud or arrogant declaration, but a geniune and often times horrifying experience. Far from any sense of pride, I am indeed a worm and no man, as my very ears and eyes percieve because of Him alone. (Prov. 20:12) Yet, why do I find myself getting angry and short-tempered with so many? I often feel it is because of one basic thing: God is surly not honored...and yet, I know He shall have preeminance in all things. (Col. 1:18) Modern day "evangelism" knows nothing of this principle, and hears not this very Scripture.
So, what is my number one rant? Actually, I have two. Firstly: The continuous dishonouring of God's Word.
And secondly:The tiring and mindless predictabilty of most theological discussions concerning the nature of the relationship between God and man. I am less and less inclined to log on to Paltalk. Every day I am reminded that "The Lord knows the thoughts of man, that they are futile." (Ps.94:11)
Allow me to rant just for a little while.

Christ is not proclaimed on Paltalk; man is proclaimed. Man worships man, and not his Creator. There is but one unifying creed for most "Christians" today: the exaltation of man. Of course, they would never admit to this, no, never in a thousand lifetimes. They can't admit to it, of course. However, that in no way justifes thier desire to oppose this simple truth. They are indeed accountable. You will not find the true Gospel in most rooms, because mankind doe not comprehend the light. (Jn.1)

Honestly, I do not wish to give the impression that I am some know-it-all self-righteous theologian stepping on as many heads as possible to get to the top of my ivory tower. I am sincerely upset at what seems to be a growing lack of true Christian fellowship to be had on Paltalk.
If ever there is some Creed or Confession that applied to the 95% of the "Christian" section of Paltalk, chapter one would read as follows:

I. Man is fallen from grace- but he fell only a little bit; he did not plummet into the very blackest depths of utter corruption or into a fleshly grave of spiritial death...no, he is just a bit misguided, a bit misunderstood. He means well, but, alas, he is sick. Just a bit. When God the Holy Spirit used such adjectives in describing man, such as being dead (Eph. 2 & Col.2), surely He was just a bit carried away in some poetic outburst. You see, dead really means alive; in fact, the plain and glaringly obvious meaning of most scriptures is always the very opposite of what is worded. For example, when Jesus in Jn 6 says NO man CAN come to Him, what He really meant is that alot of men just don't feel like it, and will come to Him when and if they alone are pleased to do so. (Did I mention Jn 6...? Yes, I did, because as a Calvinist it is all I know...it cannot compare to the vast knowledge of the Arminian who's mantra of Jn 3:16 solves all biblical difficulites.) Long ago, in Eden, satan lied and said, "You will surly not die", and so today we must continue to agree with him and proclaim how alive we all are. When apostolic authority claims man is dead, it really means he is alive. Likewise, when the Scripture says every intent of his heart is only evil continually (Gen 6:6:5), that means that most of his intentions are actually very noble but misdirected. When Solomon reminds us that within the hearts of men are madness (Ecc.9:3), what he meant to say was that man is very rational, morally sound and very capable indeed of making free will decisions concering things that are only just eternal. Man is not totally depraved: a being that is dead, blind, deaf, mad, without strength, blinded, in bondage, etc. etc. is surly capable of making good decisions. After all, it is the sovereign will of man that rules the universe. When John wrote that then whole world lies in the power of the evil one, (1 Jn 5:19) he was only kidding! It really lies in the power of almighty man. Satan is just a bit of a pest, is all. In fact, Satan does not even bother to participate in the ruin of man because he is ineffectual compared to mighty man. When Paul said that satan blinds men's minds (2 Cor.4:4), he was simply saying that he was actually providing them contact lenses. When he "works in the sons of disobediace" (Eph. 2), that just means he is only fooling with them; after all, they are much too strong for him to accomplish anything destructive anyways. This makes sense, because man does not walk "according to the prince of the power of the air" (Eph.2) but he walks according to the glorious freedom and omnipotence of his sacred free will.And how omnipotent it is! Man made himself alive...if Paul said that it was Christ Himself that made us alive (Eph.2 Col.1), then sound exegesis (what's that?) clearly shows that it was really man that did so. Ironically, because in me (my flesh) nothing good dwells (Rom 7:18) I am able to do all manner of good things! I granted myself repentance! (don't bother reading 2 Tim. 2:25-26...it means the opposite of what it says). When Jesus said that that flesh profits nothing (Jn 6:63), this only means that we are able to do at least a few profitable things. It is no secret that fleshly repentance (oxymoron), fleshly belief ("Many will come to Me saying , Lord, Lord...." and I will say, "Depart from Me...") and fleshly fear of the Lord is the most profitiable things of all!
To sum up: A bad tree can and DOES bear good fruit, man can please God in the flesh, every human being is a sheep of Christ (His sheep are said to HEAR His voice and actually follow Him, so....er...next scripture, please), we are very resourceful and able (Again, Paul was making a funny when he wrote 2 Cor. 3:5), slaves by their very nature and definition are very free to do as they please, man at any given moment is encouraged to reveal the Father to himself (Jesus alone does this Mtt.11:27, Lk 10:22,....but that is just a Calvinist prooftext....you see, John Calvin actually wrote those scriptures.), and finally, Gods word returns to Him void all the time because it never accomplishes what HE pleases but only whan man pleases (Isa. 55:11 is again another prooftext, because Isaiah was quoting qouting from the Institutes)....

Time for me to shut up. I feel better, however.

Perhpas next time we can look at chapter too of the Paltalk Confession. This will demonstrate the utter absuridy of hermeneutics....you know, another one of the BIG words us monster calvinists love to use in our torture chambers.

Peace
Craig

Craig, I am ashamed with your tone and unloving words. Its time for a group hug

I am not a member of pal talk , but what you state is true enough of other forums that run amuck with the fancy of men's minds.

Thanks for giving the glory to God alone, and putting a smile on my face while you unloaded.
He who sits in the heavens shall laugh, He shall have them in derision.

[Christ_†_Alone]

And... just exactly how many fluffy bunnies and kittens DID you eat for breakfast this morning, Mr. Monster Calvinist?



In defense of my wee little room on PT (which bears the very name of this forum, filled with fellow monsters), I have to say, you're all wrong, and you just hate everyone. (I can say that because you're one of my admins, lol)

With that said, you are actually correct. Dead on, bang on, hit the proverbial nail, **insert favorite cliche' here**

I used to say the same exact thing about msn chat, when we were over there. The same thing that motivated me to keep the room open there, is the very same thing that motivates me to keep our room open on PT.

If serious students of the Word leave, what's left for those truly looking for answers? That thought actually horrifies me. Think about it for a minute... you KNOW what's on PT, you know exactly what the genuine seekers will find. Filth, lies, garbage, rotting, decaying, putrid stench, masquerading as Christianity. Yum... where can I get some!?

It is one of the most difficult things I've dealt with, keeping a room open on PT. Add to the horrid doctrine, lies, slander, gossip, innuendo, harassment. And it doesn't matter if you answer back, stay silent, ban the troublemakers, or try to befriend them - it just keeps coming.

As we approach the 4 year anniversary of having this room/ministry online (4 years on April 28th), I can say... I've met some of THE coolest people online, via our room, that I've ever wanted to know. Many of them I've met offline, face to face, and many of them have met each other, face to face. We have in fact grown together, lost loved ones and grieved together, had babies - Samuel & Ruth (mine and Kev's, as well as Brandan & Angie's baby, Charles & Laura's baby, Denise & David's baby, Steph & David's baby), learned of proposals, marriages, graduations, illness, and literally everything else, a real family goes through, together. We have in fact become a family, because we are one, in Him.

How much longer will 5Solas Bible Fellowship stay open? Who knows... maybe another month, maybe another 4 years, maybe another 20 years, and our children will become the next generation of admins & regulars (now wouldn't that be a trip? lol).

All I know for sure is, I press on... ignore the idiocy as much as possible, and remember the goal: SOLI DEO GLORIA.

So there, Mr.MonsterAdmin, put that in your church fathers and chew on it.

[KnownByHim]

LOL.

I am happy to hear my whining brought a smile or too.
In regards to whether or not I ate any kittens or bunnies this morning, I am sad to say I did not. However, I did have the pleasure of shoving an old lady down a flight of stairs.

Peace
Craig

[ray kikkert]

LOL.

I am happy to hear my whining brought a smile or too.
In regards to whether or not I ate any kittens or bunnies this morning, I am sad to say I did not. However, I did have the pleasure of shoving an old lady down a flight of stairs.

Peace
Craig

An old lady down a flight of stairs?

[Brandan Kraft]

I think it's some sort of sarcastic paltalk humor.

[KnownByHim]

Yes it was a dumb joke. No offense intended. Sorry.

[ashamoun]

Craig,
I absolutley loved the rant. I myself had not been on PalTalk for about a month for the very reasons you stated. Yet, for some unexplained reason, I ventured back last night and within about a ten minute span in a Catholic chat room, I was told three things that I think speak more to the state of PalTalk and our "Christian" world at large than even your rant could:

1. I don't remember the context of this comment, but it speaks for itself. I was told in a Catholic chat room that "Protestants spend to much time talking about Jesus." ---I am serious, I could not even make that one up. The even funnier part about this was that I was so stunned by the comment that I simply ignored it and the person I was having the dialogue claimes some sort of victory in the discussion.

2. On the issue of Calvinism and our ability to "choose" to follow God. I gave three sets of verses, John 1:12-13, Romans 9:16 and John 15:16. The Catholic admin in the room replied by giving me an analogy to demonstrate God's sovereign election: "You see, it's like this. Think back to 1983 when Michael Jordan was drafted by the Chicago Bulls. The Bulls chose Michael Jordan, but Michael Jordan still had to choose to play for the bulls." ----Again, I couldn't make these up if I tried. When I asked what verse Michael Jordan and the NBA draft were found at, or even what Catechism of the Catholic church his analogy was found in, he failed to reply. He wanted me to answer the question about whether MJ had a choice or not even though he was chosen. This Catholic admin had the audacity to compare the sovereign will of the Almighty God to an NBA franchise. When I took the conversation further and asked him to give me one verse in the NT where someone chose to follow Christ, he went back to his analogy.

3. A different admin in the room, after proclaiming some sort of victory went on to essentially call all nonCatholics moronic. When I challenged him on pride and arrogance, he retorted with "It's not pride or arrogance, it's confidence. I am confident because my faith is built on the solid rock of St. Peter. My faith in that rock (remember, he is talking of Peter here) gives me all the confidence in the world." I then asked him if his faith woulnd't be better served if he placed his confidence in Christ instead of Peter, to which he retorted: "Peter is the rock". Again, I was shocked that he completely dismissed any reference to Christ.


So, Craig with all do respect to you, as well written as Article 1 of the PalTalk confessional is, I think we should all partake in a project to go onto PalTalk for one hour a night over the next week or so and do nothing more than listen and write down the absolute most rediculous things that are said. When completed, we can compile the quotes and sell them as Roman Catholic apologetics materials. What do you guys think??

And by the way, the 3 quotes above really did happen last night. My first time on in a month, and I was quickly reminded why.

[Christ_†_Alone]

LOL.

I am happy to hear my whining brought a smile or too.
In regards to whether or not I ate any kittens or bunnies this morning, I am sad to say I did not. However, I did have the pleasure of shoving an old lady down a flight of stairs.

Peace
Craig

lol... Craig!

Folks, you have to understand the mentality of people we deal with on PT. We (us monsters here) have been accused of pretty much every vile, repugnant act a human being might be capable of committing, simply because we agree and affirm the doctrines of grace.

eating bunnies, pushing old ladies down stairs, taking candy from babies... those are the NICE things people say. It truly is a challenge there.

I can assure you all, Craig does not shove old ladies down flights of stairs, he's a wonderful, loving, caring brother in Christ - just blowing off some PalTalkian steam.

[KnownByHim]

Hey Ashamoun,

The three things you wrote about do not come as a surprise at all, though they are no less alarming in nature. The Roman Catholic church teaches only one thing: itself. Christians talking about Christ? How terrifying!
It would be easy for me to rant all the day long about the RCC, but that wont make it go away.I do not even consider Roman Catholics to be Christians, but of a seperate religoun entirely, no different than the Mormons or JW's. Some would see this position as extreme (I know Billy Graham would be horrified), but really I feel it is the truth. Catholics oppose virtually every Scripture there is. Thier tradition, which to them is as authroitve as scripture, (if not more) is a glaring contrast to what we see in the Word. Peter, the rock, ironacly was refuted and called satan as well, and we know Paul had to correct him doctrinally and morally. I wonder if your Catholic friend had much to say about those verses.
Whenever someone answers a reading of scripture with a human analogy, 9 out of 10 times that means they are probably attempting to reword it, refute it or compromise it with secular "wisdom".
Indeed, I would only be preaching to the choir on this.
Man will forever remain restless and hostile to his Creator unless, of course, God's hands can be bound, He be removed off of His throne and His Book be rewritten a thousand times over. Chapter one of Colosassians says all things were made FOR Him....not for us. His creation serves to manifest His glory and power, and He has every right to do with it what He pleases. Roman Catholicism is glorifed humanism and polytheism.

The Catholic you spoke too, who put his faith in Peter, should remember the important thing: Jesus rebuked Peter because he was trying to persuade Jesus from going to the cross...which is what the entire Roman Catholic church endeavors to do...to obstruct the way to the cross.

Peace
Craig